Friday, May 30, 2014

Comments

People blog for all sorts of reason - a place to work through their stuff, to share what their family is doing with friends who are far away, to educate others, to promote their own business or to share their views on current events.  There is no right or wrong reason, or way to blog.  But one thing that most blogs have in common is comments.  Melissa from Stirrup Queens says it so well "commenting is the "Polo" to blogging's "Marco" (you can check out her full post here)

I love getting comments, so I make the effort to leave comments.  That's how it works in conversations, so why not in blogs.  You say something and I respond.  And like conversations, you and I may not always agree with what is being said.  For most grown ups, that can lead to great discussions or debates and can help to open up each other's understanding to a view point that is drastically different from their own.

For some grown ups though, it can lead to childish reactions.  "I don't agree with what you say, so I'm going-to stick my fingers in my ears and shout NANANANA-BOOP BOO till you go away".  It's rarer that you see this in real life conversations (though I have encountered it) but it happens a lot with blog comments.  It's all thanks to the wonderful MODERATE button.  Comments that need to be pro-actively approved before they can be seen by other people reading the blog.  It gives the blog writer the ability to pick and choose which comments they publish.  It's great if you have trolls or spammers.  It's not so great when people use it to censor ideas that do match their own.  It shuts down the opportunity for ongoing discussion and learning.  It limits their readers to only hearing one opinion on a subject.

I encountered this situation this week.  A group of adoptive parents where discussing a blog post that shared an adoption story.  The main point of this blog post was that the adoptive parents re-created a water birth situation with their newborn adoptee and had it captured in pictures.  All of the adoptive parents in the discussion agreed that this was odd, strange, unsettling and done by people who may not be well educated in adoption.

As an adoptive parent, but more so as an adoptee, I too had many thoughts and feelings on this blog post and the idea of re-creating a birth session.  So I left this comment:
The photos are stunning and beautiful and on their own they would be a wonderful way to celebrate any family. BUT..... 
I am both an adoptee and and adoptive mother. One thing that people often forget is that the cute little babies grow up. What seems like a wonderful idea through the rose coloured glasses of new adoptive parents, or the Hallmark version of adoption that people not connected to adoption believe, are not always wonderful ideas to people on the other side of the adoption triad. 
I love both the first pictures my parents have of me and the first pictures I have of my son. They celebrate the milestone of each of us joining our family. None of these pictures try to react the pieces and moments of our lives that do not belong with the families we now live with, but belonged to our first families. 
I showed these pictures to my (adopted) 11 year old son and explained what they were. His response was "that's kinda dumb, there's nothing wrong with adopting." And that is how these types of photos can make adoptees, like baby Sebastian who will one day grow up, feel - adoption must not be good enough for you if you needed to stage a pretend birth and bonding moment.

As soon as I saw "Your comments are awaiting moderation" pop-up, I knew that my comments would never make it on this blog.  The other comments all left there are telling the blogger/photographer how wonderful and beautiful this is.  Not a negative thought among them.

It's been 3 days now since I left my comments.  I'm drawn back to the post throughout the day to see if maybe, just maybe the will post my comments.  But I'm not holding my breath.

You can check out the post, and it's happy comments here:  Birth without fear

UPDATED JUNE 6, 2014 - I have just found out that my comments have indeed been published.  I'm glad that my voice and that of others has been heard.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Green


Someone else got their Green belt tonight too but doesn't want to be in pictures anymore.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Books

I love books.  I learned to read at an early age so that I could escape the alone-ness of growing up as an only child in the country with no one else to play with.  Hilary is also a voracious reader and as such our house is filled with books.

Liam struggled early on with reading and we feared that he would never find the same joy that we do in losing yourself to a great story.  There is nothing better then curling up on the couch on a raining day with a good book where you find yourself swept off to far away lands.

Our fear has proven unfounded.  Liam has developed a love for books and stories.  It could be listening to me read out loud to him before bed, carrying his Ipod and speakers from room to room so that he can follow his current audio book, or the best one, him choosing to read a book over any other activity.  He now reads above grade level and enjoys books of all styles and ranges.  From Divergent to Stephen King's IT to his currently love of Warriors.

I'm so glad that we are raising a reader.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

New Couches

We bought these blue couches 8 years ago when we first moved into this house.  They have served us well through many naps, movies and get togethers.




But time (and cats and the kid) have taken there toll, so we went searching for new ones.  These are what arrived today!



Bigger, browner and bolder, they change the whole look of the living room.  The verdict is still out with the cats, but all the people of the house love them.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Thinking out Loud #2



What it is…
A weekly celebration of quirks and randomness! An opportunity to take the pressure and stress out of writing by sharing whatever it is that happens to pop into your mind when you begin to type — all worries about sense and structure pushed aside. A collection of random and disjointed thoughts, just because.
You can check out other peoples entries at Running with Spoons.




  • Liam’s school is having a yard sale on May 31st which means that we may be able to reclaim our spare room by selling all of our crap treasures
  • I would like the temperature to level out so I can decide what to wear each day.
  • Once again this year I am hiring someone to mow the lawn.


    Sunday, May 11, 2014

    Happy Mothers Day - 2014

    Happy Mother's Day 2014


    I was looking at some old pictures this morning and found this one.  Our very first picture as "Mums".




    My previous Mother's Day Posts:

    2008
    20092009
    2010
    2011
    2012 - apparently I skipped blogging that year
    2013



    Thursday, May 8, 2014

    Thinking out Loud



    What it is…
    A weekly celebration of quirks and randomness! An opportunity to take the pressure and stress out of writing by sharing whatever it is that happens to pop into your mind when you begin to type — all worries about sense and structure pushed aside. A collection of random and disjointed thoughts, just because.
    You can check out other peoples entries at Running with Spoons.



    • I love having my nails done up all pretty, but it takes such a toll on them so that they now look like this. 


    • My TKD instructor is calling this “Move-Up May” to encourage us all to test at the end of the month. It’s been ONE YEAR since I lasted tested (normally people test every 3-4 months) so I really want to get my butt in gear so that I’m ready by May 28th. 
    • I still can’t count to 10 in Korean.  

    • Liam only has FIVE weeks of school left before summer vacation. I can’t believe how quickly this year has gone or the fact that he will be in grade SIX in September.
    • One day I will accept that I am lactose intolerant and will stop eating ice cream, especially at work.

    Saturday, May 3, 2014

    Bronze

    I entered the Hiltz Tae Kwon Do Open Championship tournament again this year.  While I really enjoy TKD, I'm not really a competition kinda gal.  But it's good to step out of my comfort zone and give it a go.  I didn't place in patterns and got a bronze medal in sparring.  Something tells me I need to train with the adults more then with the little kids!