Wednesday, August 10, 2011

10 ways to have a CRAPTASTIC vacation

  1. Have 2 teeth pulled 5 days before you leave.  Make sure one ends up being a "complicated surgical extraction".
  2. Go to a location that is planning rain for the entire time of your visit.
  3. Forget to pack long pants, a jacket and socks.
  4. Have so much pain from the 2 pulled teeth that no amount of OTC pain killers will help.
  5. Find a walk in clinic.  Ensure that it's a clinic that requires you to register in person 3-4 hours before your appointment time.
  6. M.O.S.Q.U.I.T.O.E.S.
  7. Rent a cabin close to the beach.  Ensure that it's a beach that has a strong sulfur smell of rotting seaweed at low tide.  Coincide your week with low tide being in the middle of the day.
  8. Get a prescription for Tylenol 3 with Codeine.  Take 2.  When they don't seem to be making you drowsy foolishly think it's okay to have wine with dinner.  Spend some time lying on the bathroom floor trying not to throw up and waiting for the room to stop spinning. Go to bed early.
  9. Travel with a 9 year old who does not do transitions or changes to plans well. 
  10. Stay in the middle of nowhere that requires a minimum 40 minute drive to get anywhere.
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