I've been "in reunion" for about 8 years now with Iris. I've only spent face to face time with her on 3-4 different occasions as we live quite far apart. However she does live in the same city that I grew up in and that my adoptive parents still live in.
My mom has been very well restrained so far in not showing up on Iris's doorstep with a basket of muffins just to say hi! She did make a point of finding out where she lived and any info she could about Iris when I first got info from the SW on who my first mother was.
Well, in less then a month I will be travelling home for vacation. My mom has reminded me a couple of times about how she would love to meet Iris, and maybe we can do lunch, meet in the park so that my son Liam can play while we all sit around and chat.
hmmmmmm.
I *think* I'm okay with this, but I'm not sure that Iris will be. Iris has NEVER told ANYONE about my existence.
As the adoptee, I'm feeling torn between the 2. Wanting to please both of them, and not wanting to upset either of them
So, any suggestions on how to take a 38 year old closed adoption and make it open?
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3 comments:
This is such a lot to have in front of you!
I have no advice but I wish you wise guidance.
I'll be watching and sending you good thoughts as this plays out.
This is a tough situation. Could you find a way to have Iris and your mom work it out themselves? Sounds like Iris is very private. Does that mean she may not welcome a call or invitation from your mom? Maybe you could start now (in advance) with your mom writing Iris a letter...?
Wish I could be of more help.
Take care
Wow. I have no advice but I'm hoping it all goes swimmingly.
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