Once again adoption has found it's way onto my TV without me realizing it. There is a daughter and her birthmother racing together on the Amazing Race this year.
To me, reunion is hard enough without doing it with the stress of TV cameras and travel, all while running a race to win a million dollars. From what they said on the opening episode, this is only the 3rd time that they have met face to face. I think they even said that the first time they talked was during the interview for the show! It took Iris and I almost a year to work past having to send letters through a social worker, and then even longer to get to phone calls and the idea of meeting face to face. And I realize that everyone is different, I just hope they don't have some sort of honeymoon phase that ends while they are half way up a mountain in Tibet.
Liam is watching the Amazing Race with us this year. It will be interesting to see if it sparks any adoption questions for him. The first episode didn't; he was much too interested in watching them storming the castle, smashing suits of armour with watermelons and laughing at the people trying to get their little shell boats across the water.
I hope it works out for them and that they have the chance to get to know each other like they are hoping for. I would love to see some follow up with them after the show is done to see how they made out and where their relationship will go from there.
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I just don't get it
Hilary and I have a new TV show obsession. I'm equally fascinated and appalled by this show. It is so far from my reality that I watch it in awe. I don't understand the people, their motivation or really any of it. I frequently ask myself (or the TV if it's an episode that really confounds me) "What the Hell are you thinking?" I could NEVER picture myself engaging in this activity.
What TV show could this possibility be you ask?
Why it's Say Yes to the Dress of course!
Even if Hilary and I were to get married one day, it would NOT be in frilly clothes at some big shin-dig. It would be us, Liam, our friends Sandy and Jason and a justice of the peace. In and out. And Hilary would insist on cooking dinner!
What TV show could this possibility be you ask?
Why it's Say Yes to the Dress of course!
- I don't understand the frill and frou frouness of it all.
- I really don't understand spending thousands of dollars on a dress that you will wear ONCE.
- I don't understand the tears and frustration.
- I really don't understand taking your ENTIRE family shopping with you.
- And why would anyone let their family influence them so much? If you like the dress, buy it already! Who cares what your mother, mother-in-law, sister or boss thinks? (yes one woman brought her boss too)
And yet, Hilary and I continue to watch the show. We even record new episodes. It's kinda like watching a train wreck. You just can't tear your eyes away.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Party Mamas- Halifax Style
Have you seen the show Party Mamas? It follows people around as they plan the biggest, craziest most extravagant (and expensive!) parties for their kids. One recent episode showed a California Mom throwing a Christmas party in 85F degree weather complete with real snow and a reindeer.
I watch it in fascination of something I will never, ever do. Liam's had 1 actual birthday party that involved sending out invites to people who aren't on our extended family list. And any birthday that he's ever been invited to has been pretty standard. Pick a location - bowling alley, museum, pool etc. Enjoy the facility for 1 hour and then have cake and presents in their party room for 1 hour. Go home.
This weekend Liam got invited to a party at a bowling alley. The party was for one of his friend's older brother, who was turning 11. It was a night time party (7:00-9:00) which seemed late to us, but hey, Liam is 7 not 11, so what do we know?
Soon after we arrived, we realized that this was not your ordinary bowling party, where there are 1-2 lanes reserved for the kids and the party room in the back. The ENTIRE bowling alley was decorated for the birthday. A table was set up as you came in and the birthday boy was handing out name tags and tickets for door prizes. They had bowling contests, dance contests, hula-hooping contests. There were tables of chips and snacks and drinks set up and they eventually brought out 3 cakes. They had a pinata that they actually let the kids whack with a stick instead of pulling the safe little strings at the bottom. This is a friend from school and we recognized kids that spanned at least 7 different grades. Our rough count, since they were a blur of activity, was 40+ kids. The birthday boy was on the PA system asking if people had song requests to be played and handing out prizes when kids won tickets from the carnival games. It was then that we started to figure out what was going on. The family owns the bowling alley! I had wondered what it would take to get regular league bowlers to give up an entire alley on a Saturday night.
While this party was no where in the leagues of the Party Mamas, it was certainly the most lavish birthday party we've ever been too.
I watch it in fascination of something I will never, ever do. Liam's had 1 actual birthday party that involved sending out invites to people who aren't on our extended family list. And any birthday that he's ever been invited to has been pretty standard. Pick a location - bowling alley, museum, pool etc. Enjoy the facility for 1 hour and then have cake and presents in their party room for 1 hour. Go home.
This weekend Liam got invited to a party at a bowling alley. The party was for one of his friend's older brother, who was turning 11. It was a night time party (7:00-9:00) which seemed late to us, but hey, Liam is 7 not 11, so what do we know?
Soon after we arrived, we realized that this was not your ordinary bowling party, where there are 1-2 lanes reserved for the kids and the party room in the back. The ENTIRE bowling alley was decorated for the birthday. A table was set up as you came in and the birthday boy was handing out name tags and tickets for door prizes. They had bowling contests, dance contests, hula-hooping contests. There were tables of chips and snacks and drinks set up and they eventually brought out 3 cakes. They had a pinata that they actually let the kids whack with a stick instead of pulling the safe little strings at the bottom. This is a friend from school and we recognized kids that spanned at least 7 different grades. Our rough count, since they were a blur of activity, was 40+ kids. The birthday boy was on the PA system asking if people had song requests to be played and handing out prizes when kids won tickets from the carnival games. It was then that we started to figure out what was going on. The family owns the bowling alley! I had wondered what it would take to get regular league bowlers to give up an entire alley on a Saturday night.
While this party was no where in the leagues of the Party Mamas, it was certainly the most lavish birthday party we've ever been too.
Friday, October 23, 2009
For once it wasn't really about adoption
It seems some weeks that every TV show I watch touches on adoption somehow. Sometimes it's a subplot that carries on through many episodes or sometimes it's the bad guy portrayed as the crazed adoptee out to kill everyone.
So when we sat down to watch Criminal Minds last night and I read the 2 line write up, I joked with Hilary that for once a show wasn't going to be about adoption. Well, it kinda ended up being about adoption after all. Just an adoption story with a twist.
As much as I try to portray myself as this big, strong WOMAN - hear me roar, I'm really just a big ole softy! I cry at Canadian Tire commercials for bicycles. (and yes I just got teary eyed again watching it now). Hilary frequently has to pre-screen and censor my tv viewing as certain topics are just too hard for me to watch. Adoption story lines either make me angry or reduce me to tears. Last night's Criminal Mind was well written and managed to take me from anger to tears in one 30 second scene.
Without spoiling the whole show for you I'll just tell you about the scene the really struck me. An abandoned baby had been adopted 4 years ago and the grandparents (first mom's parents) had just found out about her. The Grandfather was all indignant, insisting that the adoptive parents give him his granddaughter right away. "that is my blood, they have no right to raise her, she has to come home to us." This is the part that angered me. As an adoptee my back goes up when I hear people spouting about how blood is thicker then water and so on. I've lived my whole life without having a single family relationship with someone who shares my blood. So I don't see it as the be all end all of what makes up a family.
The camera shot then pulled away from the Grandfather and focused in on the Grandmother. You could see the emotions and struggles she was going through. And just as you thought she was going to back up Grandpa, she gave him that look. You know the one. The look a wife can give her husband that can get him to stop talking instantly. And then Grandma asked the important question that almost never gets asked. "Would we be doing her more harm by taking her away from the only family she knows." And then my tears started. Tears for the pain that the Grandparents felt at maybe never knowing their only granddaughter. Tears for the adoptive parents who might lose their child. But especially tears for the little girl at the middle of this mess. As an adoptive parent it hit so close to home. I could not fathome losing Liam. But another part of me screams "but it's the right thing to do". Ultimately though it needs to be about what is best for the CHILD. It was so nice to see a mainstream show get that. They rarely do. In the end the Grandparents did not try to get custody of the little girl and the adoptive parents agreed to include the grandparents in her life.
A win-win for everyone!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Multi-Media
Liam has fulfilled his goal of being in 4 types of media!
First he was on TV with his class at school:
Then his adoption story was featured in a book (along with pictures of him which he was very excited to point out to the staff at the book store)
Then a story about the book ran in our local paper along with a half page colour picture of our family.
And on Friday he was selected to be on the radio.
101.3 The Bounce had a booth at the movie theater and Liam wandered over to check it out. The announcer asked him if would go on the air and tell everyone what movie he was there to see (Aliens in the Attic). He got to wear great big earphones and hold the microphone. (who knew that I should take my camera with me to the movies!)
Now he just needs to be in a major motion picture and he'll have done it all.
First he was on TV with his class at school:
Then his adoption story was featured in a book (along with pictures of him which he was very excited to point out to the staff at the book store)
Then a story about the book ran in our local paper along with a half page colour picture of our family.
And on Friday he was selected to be on the radio.
101.3 The Bounce had a booth at the movie theater and Liam wandered over to check it out. The announcer asked him if would go on the air and tell everyone what movie he was there to see (Aliens in the Attic). He got to wear great big earphones and hold the microphone. (who knew that I should take my camera with me to the movies!)
Now he just needs to be in a major motion picture and he'll have done it all.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
An adoptee coming out
It's funny that this article about what percentage of the networks programming hours reflect GBLT characters would come out today. (as a side note it's unfortunate that I can't get HBO since they leading the pack with 42% vs 8%(NBC) and 5% (CBS))
It's only funny because Hilary and I just picked up ER season 11 on DVD (yes, we are those type of people, you know, the ones that can watch shows we've already seen 10 times, can receit favorite movies line by line and have dog-eared copies of books because they have been reread so often). ER was one of my favorite shows for a lot of reasons, not the least was the character of Dr. Kerry Weaver (played by Laura Innes). She was rude, funny, in-charge and didn't take any crap from anyone. And she also had 2 story lines that closely mirrored my own life - She came out as a lesbian and she was an adoptee searching for her birth mother.
Main stream media doesn't usually do either of these 2 story lines very well. They often go for the sensational, the weird, the stereotypical or the so-far-out-there it couldn't possibly happen in real life. ER did none of that. Kerry went through the same struggles that I and many of my gay friends have gone through. Discrimination at work, how to come out to people for the first time, finding out who your real friends are, that first date. ER was always very good at bringing current day issues to the screen. Kerry and her partner could not get legally married, just like all the other gay Americans at the time (and still). They did go on to have a baby and everything looked like they were destined to have a great future together until tragedy struck and Kerry's partner was killed. The show then followed Kerry's court battle to get custody of her son. A battle that many GBLT parents still have to fight today, 5 years after this season first aired.
Her adoption story also took some very realistic twists and turns. After hiring a private dective she thought her mother had been found. Only it turned out to be a mistake. So Kerry was back on the emotional roller coaster of search and reunion. Her mother finally finds her and they go out for dinner. Then Kerry was faced with that little question that all gay people face every day. "Do I come out to this person right now?"
This story line originally aired only a few years after I had found my first mother and had struggled with this very same question. Iris was not open to meeting me at all in the beginning so I tippy-toed around her a lot (all via letters sent through a social worker) at first, worried that I would scare her off before I ever got a chance to meet her. Eventually lying by omission can take its toll. Hilary and I had been together 10 years by then. We have moved across the country together, we owned a house together, we planned on starting a family together. I could not and would not deny her existance. To anyone.
So one night I sat in a bar in the Vancouver airport and I started to write. I had a 6 hour wait for my plane and nothing better to do. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I told Iris all about Hilary, my life as a lesbian, my parents kicking me out of the house when I was 18 because they thought I was gay and my fears that she would be another person added to the list of people I had lost when I came out to them.
It took me another few weeks to actually mail the letter, but eventually I did. And then I waited.
Part 2 can be found here.
It's only funny because Hilary and I just picked up ER season 11 on DVD (yes, we are those type of people, you know, the ones that can watch shows we've already seen 10 times, can receit favorite movies line by line and have dog-eared copies of books because they have been reread so often). ER was one of my favorite shows for a lot of reasons, not the least was the character of Dr. Kerry Weaver (played by Laura Innes). She was rude, funny, in-charge and didn't take any crap from anyone. And she also had 2 story lines that closely mirrored my own life - She came out as a lesbian and she was an adoptee searching for her birth mother.
Main stream media doesn't usually do either of these 2 story lines very well. They often go for the sensational, the weird, the stereotypical or the so-far-out-there it couldn't possibly happen in real life. ER did none of that. Kerry went through the same struggles that I and many of my gay friends have gone through. Discrimination at work, how to come out to people for the first time, finding out who your real friends are, that first date. ER was always very good at bringing current day issues to the screen. Kerry and her partner could not get legally married, just like all the other gay Americans at the time (and still). They did go on to have a baby and everything looked like they were destined to have a great future together until tragedy struck and Kerry's partner was killed. The show then followed Kerry's court battle to get custody of her son. A battle that many GBLT parents still have to fight today, 5 years after this season first aired.
Her adoption story also took some very realistic twists and turns. After hiring a private dective she thought her mother had been found. Only it turned out to be a mistake. So Kerry was back on the emotional roller coaster of search and reunion. Her mother finally finds her and they go out for dinner. Then Kerry was faced with that little question that all gay people face every day. "Do I come out to this person right now?"
This story line originally aired only a few years after I had found my first mother and had struggled with this very same question. Iris was not open to meeting me at all in the beginning so I tippy-toed around her a lot (all via letters sent through a social worker) at first, worried that I would scare her off before I ever got a chance to meet her. Eventually lying by omission can take its toll. Hilary and I had been together 10 years by then. We have moved across the country together, we owned a house together, we planned on starting a family together. I could not and would not deny her existance. To anyone.
So one night I sat in a bar in the Vancouver airport and I started to write. I had a 6 hour wait for my plane and nothing better to do. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I told Iris all about Hilary, my life as a lesbian, my parents kicking me out of the house when I was 18 because they thought I was gay and my fears that she would be another person added to the list of people I had lost when I came out to them.
It took me another few weeks to actually mail the letter, but eventually I did. And then I waited.
Part 2 can be found here.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
90210 and the adoption story line
Yes, I am publicly admitting that not only was I a fan of the show the first time around, I watched the new version last night. And I may even watch it again next week.
But I'm not a TV critic so that is not what I'm writing about today. I knew going into watching the show that there was an adoption story line. One of the main characters, Dixon, is a 16 year old trans-racial adoptee. We found out last night that he joined the family 8 years ago. So far there hasn't been any mention of why he as adopted at 8 years old, or what was going on in his life before that. I have no doubt that the writers will get to that eventually.
The twist last night was the second adoption story line. Turns out that Dixon's adoptive father, the school Principle Harry Wilson, fathered a child as a teen. His ex-girlfriend confronts him, telling him that she never did have that abortion, she actually went away to give birth to their son and place him for adoption, instead of spending the year in Europe like he had been led to believe. This all makes for an interesting story line, one that is fairly realistic and not always covered from a birth father's point of view by the media. The part that really rotted my socks though was when Harry was lying in bed with his wife talking about what to do next. He says "as an adoptive father I have to wonder if I would want Dixon's birth parents around, and the answer is no." (paraphrasing here). NICE..... As an adoptive parent my thoughts were "way to go ass-hat..... make open adoption the big bad scary thing of made for TV movies why don't you." and the adoptee in me thought "and why the HELL not? They are his parents too!!! why are you so insecure that you can't let you son have ALL his family around him?"
I realize that TV shows are written to the level of the lowest common denominator, and that they are written to be sensational so that they sell. This is not a documentary on ethical adoption, it is a Prime time drama. But just once I wish that there could be a positive open adoption story put out there for people to see.
But I'm not a TV critic so that is not what I'm writing about today. I knew going into watching the show that there was an adoption story line. One of the main characters, Dixon, is a 16 year old trans-racial adoptee. We found out last night that he joined the family 8 years ago. So far there hasn't been any mention of why he as adopted at 8 years old, or what was going on in his life before that. I have no doubt that the writers will get to that eventually.
The twist last night was the second adoption story line. Turns out that Dixon's adoptive father, the school Principle Harry Wilson, fathered a child as a teen. His ex-girlfriend confronts him, telling him that she never did have that abortion, she actually went away to give birth to their son and place him for adoption, instead of spending the year in Europe like he had been led to believe. This all makes for an interesting story line, one that is fairly realistic and not always covered from a birth father's point of view by the media. The part that really rotted my socks though was when Harry was lying in bed with his wife talking about what to do next. He says "as an adoptive father I have to wonder if I would want Dixon's birth parents around, and the answer is no." (paraphrasing here). NICE..... As an adoptive parent my thoughts were "way to go ass-hat..... make open adoption the big bad scary thing of made for TV movies why don't you." and the adoptee in me thought "and why the HELL not? They are his parents too!!! why are you so insecure that you can't let you son have ALL his family around him?"
I realize that TV shows are written to the level of the lowest common denominator, and that they are written to be sensational so that they sell. This is not a documentary on ethical adoption, it is a Prime time drama. But just once I wish that there could be a positive open adoption story put out there for people to see.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Feb 21, 2008 ~ Today's the day
That I stay up late!
Sometimes living in the 2nd most easternly time zone of North America can really suck! The biggest problem is that we get all of our American networks out of Boston, which is in EST. I am in AST, or one hour later. So TV shows that are on at 9:00 PM in Boston are on at 10:00 for me.
And that includes Lost tonight.
If I were content to watch Canadian shows I wouldn’t have a problem. Both CTV and CBC (the 2 big Canadian networks) have local feeds, so things are on when they are supposed to be on. I don’t get confused when I see a commercial that advertises a show for Thurday night at 9:00 and have to worry about who’s 9:00 it is or if I should add an hour to it.
The problem is that there aren’t any Canadian shows that I like. Back in the day we had Beachcombers which was good, and Bumper Stumpers was the best game show EVER, but nowadays… Eh, not so much. I’ve never gotten into Trailer Park Boys and Degrassi the Next Generation doesn’t even hold a candle to the first one. Any thing with David Suzuki is worth watching, but I don’t like political humour so Rick Mercer is out. There are a few good kid’s shows on now, like Lunar Jim but I wish Polka dot Door was still on because I really miss Polkaroo.
I could avoid staying up late by taping shows, especially since we have a DVR in the house as a trial for 30 days. But the problem with this is that it is sooo hard to avoid discussion of the show the next day, and in my case login in and going straight to the website or TWOP to read about what happened. So tonight I stay up because I have to know who is the next person to be revealed as an Oceanic 6! I was right last week about Sayid. I think tonight is going to reveal it to be Jin. Let’s see if I’m 2 for 2!
Sometimes living in the 2nd most easternly time zone of North America can really suck! The biggest problem is that we get all of our American networks out of Boston, which is in EST. I am in AST, or one hour later. So TV shows that are on at 9:00 PM in Boston are on at 10:00 for me.
And that includes Lost tonight.
If I were content to watch Canadian shows I wouldn’t have a problem. Both CTV and CBC (the 2 big Canadian networks) have local feeds, so things are on when they are supposed to be on. I don’t get confused when I see a commercial that advertises a show for Thurday night at 9:00 and have to worry about who’s 9:00 it is or if I should add an hour to it.
The problem is that there aren’t any Canadian shows that I like. Back in the day we had Beachcombers which was good, and Bumper Stumpers was the best game show EVER, but nowadays… Eh, not so much. I’ve never gotten into Trailer Park Boys and Degrassi the Next Generation doesn’t even hold a candle to the first one. Any thing with David Suzuki is worth watching, but I don’t like political humour so Rick Mercer is out. There are a few good kid’s shows on now, like Lunar Jim but I wish Polka dot Door was still on because I really miss Polkaroo.
I could avoid staying up late by taping shows, especially since we have a DVR in the house as a trial for 30 days. But the problem with this is that it is sooo hard to avoid discussion of the show the next day, and in my case login in and going straight to the website or TWOP to read about what happened. So tonight I stay up because I have to know who is the next person to be revealed as an Oceanic 6! I was right last week about Sayid. I think tonight is going to reveal it to be Jin. Let’s see if I’m 2 for 2!
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