The 4th Open Adoption Roundtable writing prompt is "write about a small moment that open adoption made possible."
You can check out all the other Roundtable entries here.
It's in the eyes
Growing up in a closed adoption, one of the things that I found the hardest was the fact that I didn't look like anyone in my family. I was taller then both my parents by the time I was 13. I was a browned eyed baby in a blue eyed family.
My hope for Liam's adoption was that he would never have the unknowns and the questions that I did. That he would know his first family and be able see his physical characteristics mirrored back to him. As it has turned out so far, that has not worked out exactly as I had hoped. Liam has not had the chance to meet his mother or his siblings.
Yet I still consider his adoption "open". Mainly because we know who is mother is, we have had contact with her in the past, and have contact information for her. And part of that contact allowed me to give Liam a special gift.
Pictures.
On his bedroom wall he has pictures of his mother, his brother and his sister. When he was little he would say goodnight to the pictures everyday or blow them kisses. At 7 he is too old for that. The similarities between the 4 of them is uncanny. You could put baby pictures of Liam and his sister side by side and I would be hard pressed to tell them apart. They all have the same facial shape, the same hair and the same eyes. Liam likes to mention that he has the same hair as K or that he looks like her. Every time he does that it is a special small moment that "open" adoption has made possible.
4 comments:
It's so great that Liam has this connection with K, and that you understand him so well.
I am noticing the same thing in my daughter that you mention. She is always comparing our hair and wanting hers (which is gorgeous) to look like mine.
It's funny, because I was reding through some of my old posts and I read one I wrote about Cupcake having my eyes, and how her Mom grieved that change in eye color from blue (like hers) to a brownish green (like mine).
You commented there on how Liam had his first Mothers eyes, and how you cherished that connection, and it just brought such a smile to my face. Then I read this here and I'm just so glad that despite the lack of complete openess, he's able to see that connection.
I'm glad you shared this. I didn't realize how important physical sameness might be until recently when a friend of mine (an adoptee) met most of my biological family for the first time. She marveled at the physical resemblance and said that she's never experienced that herself and would really like to. How lucky for Liam that you honor this need with pictures.
What an awesome thing for your son to have!
My daughter looks EXACTLY like her firstmom. She has features of her bio dad as well, but she is SO "A." I have a few baby pictures from her and other family members, and I LOVE that I can compare DD's pictures and show her one day that she is just part of the family, just like them.
A picture's worth a thousand words, huh?
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