One year ago today I got a 1 paragraph email that talks about getting a new roof, being infested with ants, transplanting some hostas and visiting her sisters.
She ends the email with :
I will say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you in case I don’t get another chance.
This is more than enough for now.
Is that the last thing I'll ever hear from her? "This is more than enough for now" - No it isn't enough, not if that is all there is going to be.
I continue to check the obits daily, so I assume that she has not died, but that isn't 100% reliable. Maybe she didn't want an obituary; maybe it's posted in a different newspaper that I don't know to check.
We are getting ready for our annual trip to Ontario in 2 weeks. In the past few years this would be the time that Iris and I would be trying to work out when and were we could get together to see each other. It's not looking like I will be seeing her this year.
So now the question becomes - "what do I do next?" I have her phone number, I could just call. But that goes against my promise to her that I would help keep "the secret". I could have my friend Barb call and pretend to be a telemarketer ( you laugh, we've done this once before when I hadn't heard from Iris for a long time). I could show up on her doorstep when we get to Ontario. I'm thinking option 2 is probably the best one.
But then what....
Do I grieve someone I barely know, that I didn't even know had died?
If she is still alive, what do I do? Send her a secret smoke signal and hope that she responds?
I am the walking poster child for why secrets and adoption don't mix!!