Friday, August 6, 2010

One year ago

It's been a year since I've heard from Iris.  This is the longest we've gone without communication since our reunion.

One year ago today I got a 1 paragraph email that talks about getting a new roof, being infested with ants, transplanting some hostas and visiting her sisters.

She ends the email with :

I will say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you in case I don’t get another chance.
This is more than enough for now.


Is that the last thing I'll ever hear from her?  "This is more than enough for now" - No it isn't enough, not if that is all there is going to be.

I continue to check the obits daily, so I assume that she has not died, but that isn't 100% reliable.  Maybe she didn't want an obituary; maybe it's posted in a different newspaper that I don't know to check.

We are getting ready for our annual trip to Ontario in 2 weeks.  In the past few years this would be the time that Iris and I would be trying to work out when and were we could get together to see each other. It's not looking like I will be seeing her this year.

So now the question  becomes - "what do I do next?"  I have her phone number, I could just call.  But that goes against my promise to her that I would help keep "the secret".  I could have my friend Barb call and pretend to be a telemarketer ( you laugh, we've done this once before when I hadn't heard from Iris for a long time).  I could show up on her doorstep when we get to Ontario.  I'm thinking option 2 is probably the best one.

But then what....

Do I grieve someone I barely know, that I didn't even know had died?
If she is still alive, what do I do?  Send her a secret smoke signal and hope that she responds?

I am the walking poster child for why secrets and adoption don't mix!!
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