Publish your response during the next two weeks--linking back here so we can all find one other--and leave a link to your post in the comments. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.
For this round Lori of Weebles Wobblog reached back through time to a post Heather wrote lo these many months ago after spending an afternoon with her daughter's first mom. In it, she wondered aloud if there was a common definition of a successful open adoption. Is it even possible to define, given the myriad factors involved? Here's how Lori poses the question:
If there's one thing we all might agree on, it's that we'd like our open adoptions to be successful. But what does "success" mean to you, when speaking about open adoption? Do you think it may mean something else to the others in your triad?
Wow, this is a tough one. One thing I can say for sure is that our open adoption plan for Liam's adoption is definitely NOT successful. He's never met his Mom, his brother or his sister. We no longer have contact or updates from K. By definition his adoption is closed.
For me, the success of an Open Adoption lies in how well the needs, wants and desires of the adoptee are being met. After all, adoption is supposed to be about them (us), right?
- Can the adoptee contact their first family when they want to?
- Does the adoptee have the type of relationship with their first family that they want to have?
- Does the adoptee feel that it's okay to be in contact with their first family and not pressured by either family to chose sides?
- Are there no secrets or lies surrounding the adoption?
- Does the adoptee have access to medical history, their genetic background, their heritage?
- Does the adoptee consider the open adoption a success?