Friday, May 23, 2008

Did I push the envelop too far?


Or in this case did I send the email too early?

My contact with Iris is dependent on my only contacting her when Madelaine isn't home, so that Iris doesn't have to tell her about me, the adoption etc... And I have always been respectful of Iris's wishes - I don't agree with it - but I do understand why she doesn't/can't/won't tell her. Part of this strange form of communication that we have includes Iris telling me what Madelaine's days off are, telling me I have the wrong number if I call and she happens to be home and me not sending emails during times that Madelaine could intercept them.

You see, Iris and Madelaine share one email address and have one computer. So I presume that Iris reads emails from me and then deletes them during the day when Madelaine is at work. Iris is not a techie whiz by any account, and I've often wondered if she thinks to empty deleted items or her internet history if she has visited my website of pictures. Odds of Madelaine looking into that and finding something are probably slim, unless she suspects her mother of hiding something from her. It also makes me wonder if Iris is playing some weird game of Russian Roulette... taking the risk that Madelaine might one day stumble across something and force her hand, making Iris tell her the whole truth.

I wonder if that has happened today.

I live one time zone East of Iris. So when I was sending out an email this morning to friends and family with a You Tube link for a video of Liam's recent concert, I included Iris on the distribution. She loves to see Liam and I always make sure to send her updates. What I didn't realize was that I was sending the email out at 8:47 AM my time.... 7:47 AM Iris's time. I have no idea what time Madelaine leaves for work or if she is in the habit of checking email first thing in the morning. I did get a "read receipt" back from their email account at 9:27 AM or 8:27 AM their time.

Someone opened the email. I wonder who?

Iris won't call me, because it's long distance and Madelaine pays the phone bill. She does email me (I wonder if she deletes her sent items too?) so I am now frantically checking email, both at work and home, to see if she sends me something. She couldn't open the last You Tube link I sent her, so she may respond telling me if these ones work or not. If she doesn't respond I will be left wondering all weekend if the "cat is out of the bag". I have moments of thinking "Phew! That would be great if Madelaine did get the email. We can all (hopefully) just move on from here" to thinking "OMG! What have I done???"

So for now, I wait and wonder
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