Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Opening Pandora's Box


With so many people having internet access these days, and places like Facebook and MySpace being available, it has become easier and easier to connect with people from our past that we have lost touch with.

But is that always a good idea?

Like most people, when I first joined Facebook I searched for various names from my past and even found a couple of them. Of course the ones I found have pretty unique names; finding your best friend John Smith from highschool is not as easy. I found someone that I went to school with from Kindergarten to Grade 10. It was fun to reminisce about how he ran me over with the tricycle on the first day of school and to catch up with what each other has been doing for the last 20+ years. I also found someone where our friendship had ended badly, when she could not accept me coming out as a lesbian when we were 19. Time can heal a lot of wounds, and we were both able to forgive each other for our past transgressions.

There are lots of other people that I often think about, wondering how they are doing, even if they are still alive. My first girlfriend, co-workers, roommates, neighbours. Sometimes the list of people that have touched my life and left it again seems very long. And that is sad. These are great people, people that I would love to have in my life, but either circumstances, time or geography have made it that they are not.

Yet, there are people from the past that maybe should stay there. Volatile relationships, people who's opinions on issues are what caused the rift in the first place, people who have made bad choices for themselves and may not be healthy to have in my life. That doesn't mean that I don't think of them, wondering where they are and what they are doing.

And so it was this wondering that caused me to stumble across an email address. I found a website for a friend's mother. This is a friend that falls into the 2nd category on all counts: we had a volatile relationship, her opinions on a major issue of my life could not be overcome, she was making very bad choices and was not healthy for me. I knew her mother way back when, spent time at her house, babysat her other child and niece. My first gut reaction on finding this website was to grab the "contact me" info and whip off an email.

So I did. I just haven't sent it yet.
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