Sunday, July 27, 2008

Soccer Anxiety

This is my anxiety, not Liam's.

Liam's team has 13 4,5 and 6 year olds and only one parent volunteer coach (who happens to be my boss!) The very first week all the parents sat off to the side chit-chatting watching this poor man try to corral the kids into line ups, counting them off into 2 groups and just generally trying to keep order while teaching them how to dribble a ball with their feet. I am not the type of person to just sit by when someone is floundering, especially when my kid is one of the ones wandering about trying to figure out what's going on. So I got up and offered to help out.

Needless to say, I've been "helping" every week since.

The last 20 minutes each week is spent playing a game against another team. Each team is split in half and plays against half of another team who shares this same field. That means that our coach stays with one half and I take the other half over to play their game. I have fun, the kids listen to me, and I get to play with Liam, which he thinks is great!

The coach announced a couple of weeks ago that he was going on vacation soon and needed some parents to step up and run things so that the kids didn't miss out on a week. Surprise, surprise... NO ONE volunteered. Coach has taken to making his version of "pretty eyes" (do men not realize that they just can't do this effectively? The first time he did it I thought he had a sty) at me at work, hinting at how great I would be.

I have relented with "If you can't get ANYONE else, I'll do it". He leaves for vacation today, and nope, he doesn't have anyone else.

The anxiety is kicking in.

I am a very shy person, who doesn't like to be the spot light or center of attention. The idea of being on the field, organizing the kids and all the parents watching me is WIGGING me OUT! To the point that it is keeping me up at night, causing my heart to race and making me feel panicky. The practical side of me tries to tell me that it's no different then what I've been doing every week. That's not really helping though.

I also don't deal well with going to new places for the first time. I need to arrive WAY early, scope it out and get comfortable. If it rains tomorrow, we play at a different field that has astro-turf. We've had 2 rain dates so far, but we've chosen not to go. I won't have that luxury tomorrow if I'm coaching the team. And I won't be able to get there early, as I'll be heading there straight from work. Just the thought of having to take a different bus is making me all clammy right now.

Here's hoping that it doesn't rain so that I only have one stressor to deal with. And if you don't hear from me for for a few days, it's because I've spontaneously combusted.
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