Sunday, August 10, 2008

A sad little boy

(some background: Liam calls me Mama and Hilary Mummy. We have always referred to "K" as his birthmother or just mother)

While Liam and I were gardening yesterday he started to get weepy and looked at me and said "I miss my Mummy!" I looked at him funny and replied that she was in the kitchen and he could go see her if he really wanted to. To which he replied, "No, my other Mummy "K". I've never met her but I miss her."

So we talked about missing her, and that if he wanted we could write her a letter and send her a picture. And like kids do, he instantly moved on to whatever the next topic was.

Then we had the exact same conversation 4 hours later. And again at bedtime. And each time he moved on to another topic once we acknowledged his sadness. Oh to be 6 again and able to compartmentalize my emotions so neatly, never letting them spill into my general mood for the day.

The spark of understanding adoption and the associated loss has begun.


Lori Lavender Luz said...

I'm fairly new to this, too. I hope to get insight from others who were adopted, and to listen to my inner guidance when things come up for my kids.

Sounds like you did a great job, Andy.

Beautiful Mess said...

*new to your blog* What a sweet little guy you have there! That's awesome how he was able to tell you how he was "sad" and how you dealt with it. Good for all of you! Have a great day and take care.