Friday, November 16, 2012

Day 16 - Knowledge About Your Adoption

Knowledge About Your Adoption Some adoptive parents share more than others for various reasons. How much of your adoptive parents’ story shared with you? If they shared details about your adoption, how did that make you feel? If they did not, do you wish they had? Did your parents share with you why they choose to adopt? Did they share that story with others in your life? If so, did it affect you in any ways?

I've mentioned before that one of the best things my parents ever did was tell me about my adoption from before I was old enough to remember and always shared everything they knew with me.  Well.... almost always.

When I was 12 I asked my mom to get my non-identifying info (since that was all that was available to me). She wrote for it and got it back within 6 months, but didn’t give it to me till I was 30. Her reason, I never asked her for it again. And the reason I never asked for it again was that I trusted her to give it to me when it arrived.

I always knew that my mother couldn't have children.  She had several miscarriages after they adopted me, and I remember her being in the hospital or home sick on the couch when I was quite young. They never made me feel like adoption was a second choice or that I was the "replacement" child for the one they couldn't have on their own.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You never asked for it again...

You see this statement used in many different areas - she doesn't talk about her birth family so she isn't interested so we don't bring it up...

People need to ask themselves who is the adult in the conversation?

Rebecca Hawkes said...

Yep, similar situation here. My a-mom had info for years and was waiting for me to ask. But I thought she had no info nor any way to get info, so why would I have asked?