Sunday, November 18, 2012

Day 18 - Siblings

Siblings: Do you have siblings in your adoptive family? Were they also adopted or not? What was your relationship like in regards to adoption? If you are in reunion, did you find siblings as part of your search? How you been affected by your sibling relationships? If you searched and found siblings, and had adoptive siblings, what has that been like? If you don’t have siblings, have you found any benefits to being an only child?

I grew up as an only child and was always so VERY jealous of people with siblings.  I was drawn to TV families with large sibling groups - The Walton's, The Brady Bunch, 8 is Enough.  To me, they were the ideal families.  

I was always aware of the fact that I had a sister who lived with my birth mother.  She was 6 years old when I was born.  Oh the fantasy life I led with this mystery sister who didn't even have a name.

When I reunited with Iris, my birth mother, I found out that I also had 4 1/2 siblings on my father'side, something I had never considered.  The only reason I had never considered this possibility was that Iris had told the adoption agency that she was widowed.  I have no contact and no information on these 4, other than they were in their 20s when I was born putting them all in the 60s now.  I do know that one is named Carol and is a lesbian, but that is all that I know.

Liam is growing up knowing that he had  siblings living with his Mom. He knows their names and when their birthdays are, but that is all the information we have.  We talk of them often and he would very much like to meet them and have a relationship with them.  Otherwise he too is growing up as an only child.

And our last sibling/adoption connection lies with Hilary.  She has just reunited with an older half sibling who was placed for adoption 9 years before she was born.  They continue to get to know each other now that they have had the chance to meet.

2 comments:

Summer said...

Do you think you would have had the same longing to grow up with siblings if you had not been aware of your biological sibling?

Andy said...

Hi Summer,

I think my longing for siblings had much more to do with the fact that I grew up on a farm with no neighbours, so no friends. It was very lonely, especially in the summer without school. The idea of built in playmates in the form of siblings was very appealing.